Lanzarote Day 3: 100kms

Volcanoes, superjocks and purgatives

Have you ever felt victimised by the weather? That the wind is blowing simply because you have decided to go out? I know fellow roadies who flatly refuse to go out in a strong wind. People in training, of course (and many cyclists are on Lanzarote) should embrace vicious headwinds, being a great form of resistance training and providing the basic practice of handling such conditions. Crouching down on the drops, lowering my body profile to reduce wind resistance, I head up the hill and against the wind……Timanfaya_National_Park_IMGP1865

My principal objective is to cycle up to the restaurant in the Timanfaya National Parkcats_cocina_montanas_del_fuego_grande_lanzarote

…sample some of the food prepared on the volcanic BBQ (yes, the volcano is active and the heat just a few metres down provides an eternal BBQ)IMAG1099

…and then jump on a tour bus (the only form of transport allowed) for the 45 minute route around the amazing volcanic landscape that was formed during the 6 year eruption 1730-36. It is lunar, it looks totally barren…..but the truth is, that over 200 species of wildlife have established themselves, and many now thrive in the most hostile of environments.

My route back to base was interrupted by my curiosity. I just had to take a detour out to the west coast to take a peak at Club La Santa,Club la Santa the famous elite sports training resort that attracts both elite and amateur athletes, especially in winter. The closer I get to the Club, the more often I am overtaken by groups of young, fit things who show no respect for experience. I occasionally try to jump on the back of a peloton, stay with it for a few kms, but then have give into the anno domini…….peloton

Once at Club La Santa, security eventually lets me through the gates, checks out my passport, tells me to leave my bike in a lock-up, and I head off to the poolside bar for a ridiculously expensive ‘café con leche’, and ogle at the training and leisure facilitiesIMAG1101

…..and admire the style of some of the training….. 🙂IMAG1102

Too many lithesome Adonises and Venuses for my liking, so I head up the road and look for some affordable sustenance to fuel my ride back to Costa Teguise. I drop by a mini-market, buy myself a 75gr bar of 70% chocolate, that mysteriously claims “no added sugars”. I devour the bar and then (……and only then) I look at the wrapper for the statistics and ingredients, only to read (in tiny print, of course): “Un consumo excesivo puede producir efectos laxativos”. IMAG1118Aarrgh!!! Now I find out……. Now I know the significance of the ‘no added sugars’ reference. I feel my stomach…….I know it’s already beginning to work like an enema……is 75grs “excesivo”? If it is, I’ll be crouching behind a few volcanic rocks before getting back to the hotel…..I reach into my back pocket to assure myself I still have the emergency ‘papel higiénico’. Will he make it…..?

Tune in for the next episode……. 😦

About Frank Burns

My journeys around the world are less about riding a bicycle, and more about what happens when I get off the bicycle. Click on the Personal Link below to visit my webpages.

Posted on January 27, 2015, in Cycling Lanzarote and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. It must be 30 years since my wife and I holidayed in Lanzarote. We booked a week in a “mystery” location only to find ourselves in Club La Santa. Spent most of the week telling persuasive reps that we did not want to invest in a timeshare apartment. Hope you were not pestered too!


  2. Pete, I don’t know about the origins of the resort, but I’m guessing the timeshare options have been history for many years. I know someone who worked there 20 years ago when it was a sports training resort, and it seems to have been like that ever since.


  3. Oh dear, I hope there were no ill effects from the over consumption of chocolate.
    That training resort looks spectacular but not a lot of training going on except perhaps tan training.


  4. Heather, the next post will reveal the truth…….


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