You know you’re a modern roadie when…………………

20.    You return from an epic ride to find your GPS didn’t record and it feels like you just wasted your day and energy.

19.    Your gears stopped working… because of a dead battery.

Puncture18.    Your first ride of 2015 was on 2 January. All the achievable Strava KOMs (King of the Mountains) were already taken.

17.    You work out indoors on windy days because your aerodynamic frame and wheels are just too scary outside.

16.    A rest day is when your GPS is turned off.

15.   You can’t train indoors because your computer has a virus.

14.    You’re involved in a crash and you get X-rays… of your bike for insurance purposes. The sore ribs go ignored.

13.   You see someone wearing a tiger-print skinsuit and your first thought is ‘brave’.

12.    A car hits you because they didn’t see your ‘murdered-out’ bike and matching kit. Luckily, you caught the whole thing in HD video.

11.  Your brakes are leaking oil.

10.  Your power meter keeps cutting out – you decide it’s pointless to ride like this.

9.    Distracted by your GPS, you hit the back of a car. (Perhaps using your Garmin while riding is no different to driversMechanical texting?)

8.   It’s wet outside, so you wonder if you should just ride your cyclocross bike on the road today?

7. You get a flat and find neither you nor anyone in your group has a 60/80mm valve tube. You call a cab/your spouse, delete the file off your GPS and pretend the ride never happened.

6. Your heart rate/cadence/speed or power sensor malfunctions and picks up the data of a young-gun riding past. You immediately screen-shot the effort.

5. You can’t operate your bike computer because the touchscreen doesn’t work with the gloves you’re wearing.

4. You have a Gran Fondo coming up, but can’t decide whether to use 50/34, 52/36 or 53/39 gearing on the front. And the rear cassette is a whole other drama!

Mechanical 23. You’re sitting at the lights and go to push off – you shift for a gear but nothing happens. You quickly hear the laughter of your mate riding off and look down to find you’ve been unplugged.

2. Fixing a bottom bracket creak is no longer a matter of reaching for a wrench and grease. It now requires a hammer, a cup remover, a headset press, a new bottom bracket and a whole bunch of Loc-tite.

1. Your crankset tells you not to quit your day job.

Taken from Bikeradar

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About Frank Burns

Looking for the extraordinary in the commonplace………taking the road less travelled……..striving for the ‘faculty of making happy chance discoveries’ in unremarkable circumstances. Click on the Personal Link below to visit my webpages.

Posted on February 6, 2015, in Cycling UK and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 15 Comments.

  1. Unfortunately, I resemble quite a few of those. Crap.

  2. Stick with a mechanical gruppo Frank, and that will confuse the list.

    • I do Chris, but I ride with people who match many of the 20…… A classic case was a guy who had a minor mechanical, decided to throw in the towel, phoned his wife, who spent a couple of hours trying to find him along the country lanes, and was less than impressed by the disturbance to her Sunday morning……..well, you can imagine the conversation across the dinner table.

  3. Dra Martha Castro Médico WMA

    he he, I am definitely an old fashion rodie. No GPS, video cameras yes, on all my bikes and two more that I mount on my helmets, I go out in the rain, very foggy or rainy days, get dirty sometimes and don´t care, as long as I did my ride. Training indoors bores the hell out of me, but sometimes I do it if it is pouring. I bike in my city and know the kilometers from point to point more or less, so, if my odometer fails or the batteries die out, no problem, I calculate in my mind the kms, and about the calories, same thing. The moment I start pedaling no digital gadget stops my ride 🙂

  4. Edward Valletta

    I just haven’t been for a ride when the GPS isn’t working and I can’t record it. So sad.

  5. 21. You know you’re a roadie when you call yourself a “roadie”.

  6. Reblogged this on Kite*Surf*Bike*Rambling and commented:
    Hilarious – luckily I am more old school

  7. Dra Martha Castro Médico WMA

    Reblogged this on DR. MARTHA ANDREA CASTRO NORIEGA, MD, UEBD, CMT and commented:
    Wednesday, a day to re-blog WordPress greatest posts of the week #05

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